Once again, this part is a little too long, so I'm splitting it.
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Noctis could officially cross being sprayed at with a squirt bottle like a misbehaving dog off of his bucket list.
Not that he ever thought it would need to be added…
Considering how long the trip back to the Myrlwood would take, however, this was really the better alternative to stopping constantly to dunk him in water or else letting him dry out again. That was a hell he hoped never to experience again. His insides felt like they were burning, his outsides felt like crispy toast, the webbing between his fingers had gotten rubbery…he may have started crying at some point. Not that he would admit it. It was just the dryness of his eyes, that was all! Really!
Still, the group couldn’t spare the time to visit any pools, streams or rivers along the way, and the water in the fish tank they’d acquired couldn’t exactly be spared for him, so the group had bought a few squirt bottles filled with water before they left Lestallum. The task of spraying down Noctis was left to Prompto, who did so with an odd sort of enthusiasm. Considering how many times he’d sprayed Noctis in the face whenever the prince made some sort of sarcastic remark, it wasn’t hard to figure out where he found his humor. But still…
“My face is fine, Prompto. Maybe get the rest of my scales?” Noctis huffed, wiping water out of his eyes and flicking it at Gladio at the sound of the shield’s snickering. Prompto took his role seriously for a moment, brandishing the two bottles as twin guns and spraying them in tandem over the length of Noctis’ body.
“Thanks—”
And yet another squirt to the face. For good measure.
“…Prom—”
As well as another, interrupting what Noctis was about to say.
“Will you—”
Squirt.
“—stop that—”
Squirt.
“Prompto, I’ll have to ask that you take this seriously. You’re starting to distract me,” Ignis quipped. Of course he wasn’t actually that distracted, but Noctis silently thanked him for speaking on his behalf anyway. And then he promptly ripped a squirt bottle out of his best friend’s hand and sprayed the blond in the face with it.
“You’re cleaning up any water stains you got on my dad’s seats,” Noctis said, tossing the bottle back to Prompto once he’d wiped off his face. He didn’t seem too offended by it, judging from his laughter.
“Sorry, couldn’t help it,” he said to Ignis before turning to Noctis. “And dude, you’ve gotten enough water stains in here to make the Regalia smell like an aquarium for the next fifty years.”
“Yeah, and I’m trying not to make it worse. Hence why I’m not spraying myself down.” It’d get everywhere, and Noctis wouldn’t really be able to see what he was doing, despite his ability to twist his back in ways that were impossible for a normal human—much to his dismay because that could have otherwise been useful, and he likely would’ve gotten irritated enough to start dumping water on himself and that wouldn’t have turned out well. So he handed the bottle back to Prompto and turned to face away from him.
“Which means Prompto gets the fun job,” he concluded. Prompto must not have minded as he silently went back to spraying Noctis down. Gladio shifted a bit, moving his face away when one of Noctis’ fins almost smacked him, but otherwise didn’t say anything. He was the other candidate for ‘water squirter’. Apparently his job as ‘fish tank holder’ interfered with that? Despite the fish tank resting on the floor between his feet. Whatever, Noctis wasn’t going to argue with it.
“It’d be a lot more fun if we could stop to grab some eats on the way. I don’t think I’ll make it all the way to the Vesperpool on an empty stomach, let alone fight through plant monsters just to crawl through the Myrlwood,” Prompto sighed, spraying water over Noctis’ navy scales absentmindedly. He sat slumped over the back of the seat with his cheek smushed into the headrest, staring wistfully out into the wilderness as it passed by. The perfect ‘sad puppy’ look.
Ignis seemed to take pity on him, so at least it somewhat worked. “We can pick up something quick from the crow’s nest in Old Lestallum, but otherwise we’re continuing on. I’d like to reach the Myrlwood before nightfall. If we get caught there after sundown, we’ll have to either stay at the haven inside or fight out way through daemons until we find another. I’d rather avoid both.”
“Gotcha Iggy!” Prompto grinned, perking up immediately at the words ‘crow’s nest’. “We’ll be quick!”
“I thought you hated the crow’s nest in Old Lestallum. Said it was creepy,” Gladio said, raising an eyebrow.
“It is creepy,” Noctis chipped in. “That damn hick bird watches people, I swear to Ramuh.”
He’d testify on the Cosmogony itself that that daemon bird turned its head when he sat down next to it that one day.
“Well then it’s a good thing you’ll both be in and out of there,” Ignis said, continuing south down the road that led into Old Lestallum instead of turning onto one of the roads that would take them north towards the Vesperpool. It would have either been that or another meal at Meldacio and that had given Gladio the shits, so they had subconsciously agreed not to eat anymore cooking ‘the way mama made it at home’. Or they could have chanced a convenience meal at Burbost Souvenir Emporium but, inconveniently enough, they didn’t have a microwave and Noctis wasn’t tossing anymore fire spells at their food. Not again. The Old Lestallum crow’s nest was, unfortunately, their best bet. But thankfully, if Noctis was interpreting Iggy’s words correctly, he wouldn’t have to go in. Just Gladio and Prompto. That worked.
“What?” Prompto whined. “Why do me and Gladio have to go? Wouldn’t it be better if you went, Iggy?”
“Weren’t you the one celebrating the chance to get something to eat?”
“I didn’t think I’d actually have to go in there. Figured you’d take care of the shopping.”
Noctis turned over again, pushing himself up into a sitting position as he reached over and poked Prompto in the forehead. “Don’t treat Ignis like he’s your nanny.”
“Oh right, I forgot. Isn’t he your nanny?” Prompto rolled his eyes.
“Exactly,” Noctis nodded. “So get your lazy ass into that diner and pick up some burgers to go.”
“I can’t believe the King of Sloth just called me a lazy ass…”
Despite the complaints however, Prompto readily got out of the car once they reached Old Lestallum. Gladio…not so much. He sat back and watched Prompto with his hands behind his head, nodding down at the sparkling blue fish tail rested over his lap.
“I’m kinda occupied, so have fun.”
Noctis reached over into Prompto’s seat and grabbed one of the squirt bottles that had been set down, aiming at his shield’s face and spraying.
“Bad. Go help Prompto.”
It earned him an understandably irritated look. Grinning mischievously from behind the shield, Prompto grabbed the other bottle while Gladio wasn’t looking and promptly sniped him in the back of the head. And then the face when Gladio turned around. Noctis lifted himself up as Gladio launched out of his seat, vaulted over the door, and chased Prompto into the diner.
Noctis turned to Ignis and immediately struck up a conversation. “So, Specs, wanna hear this goofy joke Talcott told me?”
“Why do I get the feeling I’m going to regret saying yes?”
“Probably because it’s terrible. He heard it from Jared apparently.”
Ignis only waited for Noctis to continue.
“So a cactuar and a slactuar go into a motel, and they meet up with this lady who says ‘I bet I could take a thousand pri—”
“And I’m going to stop you there. I’m pretty sure I know how this one ends and I really don’t need to hear it again.”
Fill 7A/7: Noctis/Any, Noctis gets turned into a merman
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Noctis could officially cross being sprayed at with a squirt bottle like a misbehaving dog off of his bucket list.
Not that he ever thought it would need to be added…
Considering how long the trip back to the Myrlwood would take, however, this was really the better alternative to stopping constantly to dunk him in water or else letting him dry out again. That was a hell he hoped never to experience again. His insides felt like they were burning, his outsides felt like crispy toast, the webbing between his fingers had gotten rubbery…he may have started crying at some point. Not that he would admit it. It was just the dryness of his eyes, that was all! Really!
Still, the group couldn’t spare the time to visit any pools, streams or rivers along the way, and the water in the fish tank they’d acquired couldn’t exactly be spared for him, so the group had bought a few squirt bottles filled with water before they left Lestallum. The task of spraying down Noctis was left to Prompto, who did so with an odd sort of enthusiasm. Considering how many times he’d sprayed Noctis in the face whenever the prince made some sort of sarcastic remark, it wasn’t hard to figure out where he found his humor. But still…
“My face is fine, Prompto. Maybe get the rest of my scales?” Noctis huffed, wiping water out of his eyes and flicking it at Gladio at the sound of the shield’s snickering. Prompto took his role seriously for a moment, brandishing the two bottles as twin guns and spraying them in tandem over the length of Noctis’ body.
“Thanks—”
And yet another squirt to the face. For good measure.
“…Prom—”
As well as another, interrupting what Noctis was about to say.
“Will you—”
Squirt.
“—stop that—”
Squirt.
“Prompto, I’ll have to ask that you take this seriously. You’re starting to distract me,” Ignis quipped. Of course he wasn’t actually that distracted, but Noctis silently thanked him for speaking on his behalf anyway. And then he promptly ripped a squirt bottle out of his best friend’s hand and sprayed the blond in the face with it.
“You’re cleaning up any water stains you got on my dad’s seats,” Noctis said, tossing the bottle back to Prompto once he’d wiped off his face. He didn’t seem too offended by it, judging from his laughter.
“Sorry, couldn’t help it,” he said to Ignis before turning to Noctis. “And dude, you’ve gotten enough water stains in here to make the Regalia smell like an aquarium for the next fifty years.”
“Yeah, and I’m trying not to make it worse. Hence why I’m not spraying myself down.” It’d get everywhere, and Noctis wouldn’t really be able to see what he was doing, despite his ability to twist his back in ways that were impossible for a normal human—much to his dismay because that could have otherwise been useful, and he likely would’ve gotten irritated enough to start dumping water on himself and that wouldn’t have turned out well. So he handed the bottle back to Prompto and turned to face away from him.
“Which means Prompto gets the fun job,” he concluded. Prompto must not have minded as he silently went back to spraying Noctis down. Gladio shifted a bit, moving his face away when one of Noctis’ fins almost smacked him, but otherwise didn’t say anything. He was the other candidate for ‘water squirter’. Apparently his job as ‘fish tank holder’ interfered with that? Despite the fish tank resting on the floor between his feet. Whatever, Noctis wasn’t going to argue with it.
“It’d be a lot more fun if we could stop to grab some eats on the way. I don’t think I’ll make it all the way to the Vesperpool on an empty stomach, let alone fight through plant monsters just to crawl through the Myrlwood,” Prompto sighed, spraying water over Noctis’ navy scales absentmindedly. He sat slumped over the back of the seat with his cheek smushed into the headrest, staring wistfully out into the wilderness as it passed by. The perfect ‘sad puppy’ look.
Ignis seemed to take pity on him, so at least it somewhat worked. “We can pick up something quick from the crow’s nest in Old Lestallum, but otherwise we’re continuing on. I’d like to reach the Myrlwood before nightfall. If we get caught there after sundown, we’ll have to either stay at the haven inside or fight out way through daemons until we find another. I’d rather avoid both.”
“Gotcha Iggy!” Prompto grinned, perking up immediately at the words ‘crow’s nest’. “We’ll be quick!”
“I thought you hated the crow’s nest in Old Lestallum. Said it was creepy,” Gladio said, raising an eyebrow.
“It is creepy,” Noctis chipped in. “That damn hick bird watches people, I swear to Ramuh.”
He’d testify on the Cosmogony itself that that daemon bird turned its head when he sat down next to it that one day.
“Well then it’s a good thing you’ll both be in and out of there,” Ignis said, continuing south down the road that led into Old Lestallum instead of turning onto one of the roads that would take them north towards the Vesperpool. It would have either been that or another meal at Meldacio and that had given Gladio the shits, so they had subconsciously agreed not to eat anymore cooking ‘the way mama made it at home’. Or they could have chanced a convenience meal at Burbost Souvenir Emporium but, inconveniently enough, they didn’t have a microwave and Noctis wasn’t tossing anymore fire spells at their food. Not again. The Old Lestallum crow’s nest was, unfortunately, their best bet. But thankfully, if Noctis was interpreting Iggy’s words correctly, he wouldn’t have to go in. Just Gladio and Prompto. That worked.
“What?” Prompto whined. “Why do me and Gladio have to go? Wouldn’t it be better if you went, Iggy?”
“Weren’t you the one celebrating the chance to get something to eat?”
“I didn’t think I’d actually have to go in there. Figured you’d take care of the shopping.”
Noctis turned over again, pushing himself up into a sitting position as he reached over and poked Prompto in the forehead. “Don’t treat Ignis like he’s your nanny.”
“Oh right, I forgot. Isn’t he your nanny?” Prompto rolled his eyes.
“Exactly,” Noctis nodded. “So get your lazy ass into that diner and pick up some burgers to go.”
“I can’t believe the King of Sloth just called me a lazy ass…”
Despite the complaints however, Prompto readily got out of the car once they reached Old Lestallum. Gladio…not so much. He sat back and watched Prompto with his hands behind his head, nodding down at the sparkling blue fish tail rested over his lap.
“I’m kinda occupied, so have fun.”
Noctis reached over into Prompto’s seat and grabbed one of the squirt bottles that had been set down, aiming at his shield’s face and spraying.
“Bad. Go help Prompto.”
It earned him an understandably irritated look. Grinning mischievously from behind the shield, Prompto grabbed the other bottle while Gladio wasn’t looking and promptly sniped him in the back of the head. And then the face when Gladio turned around. Noctis lifted himself up as Gladio launched out of his seat, vaulted over the door, and chased Prompto into the diner.
Noctis turned to Ignis and immediately struck up a conversation. “So, Specs, wanna hear this goofy joke Talcott told me?”
“Why do I get the feeling I’m going to regret saying yes?”
“Probably because it’s terrible. He heard it from Jared apparently.”
Ignis only waited for Noctis to continue.
“So a cactuar and a slactuar go into a motel, and they meet up with this lady who says ‘I bet I could take a thousand pri—”
“And I’m going to stop you there. I’m pretty sure I know how this one ends and I really don’t need to hear it again.”